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There is no freaking way I can compete with stuff like this. It's so awesome. It's like you took Real Life Absurdities and made it better (mainly by adding a longer break, I guess). Plus you hit the halloween nail on the head. The instrumentation really works to hit the theme - like that vibrato whistle at :35, but the chord progressions also do a really nice job hitting it too.

One of the things that I really enjoy about your pieces is your use of melody and counter melody. There is almost never just a single melody going at once - you always pair them up with a loud one doing one thing and then a quieter one doing something else.

The only reason I'm holding back from 10/10 is that I feel like it's a little too close to Real Life Absurdities, which was itself fairly close to Steam's Wonderful Contraptions. (And see, I'm a total hypocrite, because I didn't laud you or anything when you did She Was Picking Flowers...) I feel like the primary strength of those 3 songs is in the crazy and unique instrumentation choices rather than in the melody, which means that the novelty wears off once you hear it a lot (not that I've been putting your songs on repeat for hours... ok, perhaps I have been...) but, and this is just my opinion, the novelty of a good melody will never wear off.

So what I'm trying to say is I would really like to hear another Mechanical Anima out of you, because that's my favorite of your styles. But, like, despite all my soliloquizing about melody, I still think that this song is really freaking great. In fact I feel almost criminal docking that half star because the song is that good.

steampianist responds:

Hey man thanks for the review. Yeah it does sound a bit like RLA but note i was up against kor rune while composing this thats why i decided i had to do what i do best :)

and congrats for making it through round 5

One reason you can't finish these is because they are all basically the same idea. I wasn't counting and I didn't listen to the whole thing but a large number are the same exact vi-IV-V progression, and more are some variant of I-IV-V-vi. Come on bro, you're a great musician but you need to push your chord progressions in more interesting ways or you'll just end up stagnating on all your ideas like you are here. (The same thing has happened to me.)

Why not start with some nice jazz chords? Here's a fun progression: Fmaj7-emm7-dmaj7-cmaj7 (mm7 = minor major 7, maj7= major seventh chord).

Other suggestion is you have way too much reverb on your stuff.

It doesn't make a lot of sense for me to qualitatively assess a bunch of tiny ideas, but any of them sound interesting enough to expand into a whole song.

ErikMcClure responds:

You really shouldn't ever do technical critique on an idea. A lot of them are clipping horribly or have other serious production errors. They're just ideas. I use excessive reverb in my ideas because it substitutes atmosphere and helps me imagine what they should sound like. The reverb is dropped later.

The thing with the chord progression has been a constant thorn in my side, because I often try to come up with different chord progressions, but then can't figure out how to make them into songs. The problem is usually the opposite - I don't know how to make a song with wildly different chord progressions. The songs I usually do end up making very, very often end up being variations on the same chord progression.

The problem I almost always run into is that I have difficulty coming up with melodies for unusual chord progressions. I'm sure the answer to this is "well then get better". Oh sure, I'd love to, if I had all the time in the world. Naturally, I don't. It's hard to motivate myself to work on music when I know I can't make a living off of it and i'm pretty much only doing it for my own amusement.

Wow, I liked this a lot. The main motif is really good. I was pretty impressed that even though it's only really 3 (or 6, depending on how you count) notes long, it carries a lot of emotive weight. The only thing I really wanted was a little more bass power under that motif.

I also feel like the song doesn't do all that much until the main motif is first hinted at around 1:30. I guess this is kind of up to you. I don't have much of a problem with long intros, but you should be aware that the intro is definitely not as good as the rest of the song.

This is somewhere between 8 and 9 for me. I feel like it hits the idea of underwater exploration very nicely. It feels very melancholy and almost resigned. Great work!

stunkel responds:

Oh wow! I didn't expect a review from you! I've seen you give some great feedback on many different songs and by skimming over this it is no exception! Very detailed and lengthy.

Anyways, I'm glad you thought the main motif was nice, I think I know what you are talking about if it's just the descending notes. I use it a lot in my songs, and I was worried people would notice it more often x_x But you saying that makes me feel better about myself!

The intros can be interesting and tricky to me sometimes... Because I do agree the intro is absolutely not the highlight of the song by any means. But at the same time, the song would not be the same without it's intro. But perhaps your suggestion of making it shorter isn't a bad idea! I'll keep that in mind for my next song.

Hey man, thanks for the awesome review, glad that the underwater exploration feeling hit you :p. OH and congrats on making it to the semi finals in NGADM! Sound Chris was a tough opponent.

Thanks again for the review

-Ryan

The first time I listened to this song (last year) I didn't really get it. I listened to it off and on every few months, but it still didn't really click. I think something about the use of chords makes it hard to grasp onto for a dude like me who doesn't listen to much jazz.

Anyway, I just want to check in to say that I listened to it today and my mind was blown.

10/10, easy.

Kor-Rune responds:

Omg thank you johnfn, I appreciate the listen and review on this oldie c: congrats on your win!

What was I thinking not reviewing this one earlier? I absolutely love it. The melody that launches at :18 may be the best one I've heard all NGADM, so instant 9 stars already. There are three problems though-

1. The bridges between the different occurrences of the :18 melody are not very strong. I like some points, like 1:12-20, but generally they just feel like they're there to fill space. The thing is that when you have a melody as strong as :18, every other part of your song has to step it up or else it's going to be a disappointment.

2. You don't get enough mileage out of the melody. You wrote an awesome melody, you better get all you can out of it. Ideally I would like some strong bass and maybe even some big hits under it for some sort of climax, to really get the emotion out. I realize that might not fit the idea that you had for the song, but it's a melody that really seems to demand some more power under it.

3. Too much reverb. Easy fix, just turn down the release on your reverb. That will clean up your climaxes a lot, especially in the high end.

Anyway, I'm a huge melody guy, so this is already baller in my books. The whole song is great. Just wanted to make some minor suggestions to make it even better!

ChronoNomad responds:

You are seriously the best. Thank you so much for this outstanding review, John! Until now I've actually been really surprised at the lack of comments about the underlying melodies, so it's really good to know that those do not go completely unnoticed. I was starting to think that I was the only one who was really in love with them. :3

You've made some very nice suggestions in conjunction with your feedback, and I truly appreciate that. It's always nice to have some direction as opposed to the decidedly non-constructive "I don't like this" or "I don't like that" without any kind of explanation why or anything. I think I'm finally getting a hold of my love affair with reverb, but it's still a pretty delicate balance; less is definitely more in this regard.

Thank you again for leaving this very encouraging review. I'm happy to know that you enjoy this piece, and am still working on music post-NGADM, so I hope you'll drop by from time to time. Your presence is definitely welcome here!

Neat beats right in the beginning. Lots of high frequencies, that's fine though. Cool rolls around 1:17 Toms. I really enjoy the baseline. Chords are sounding a little dissonant though and by 1:00 I'm wondering if there's going to be a change in the song, it's starting to feel a little repetitive. By 1:20 I'm hearing some variations on the chords which is cool, but I think what this needs is more changes.

What I want you to work on is having your songs change over time - build up, break down, climax, all that good stuff. The normal way that people give songs 'motion' is by adding or removing instruments. What I really wanted to hear from this song was after, like, the 1 minute mark, a piano in the upper registers could come in and start doing some sweet solo, you know? Or something else to make it feel like the song is progressing. You might find it helpful to listen to some of your favorite songs and see how they move the song along, and then apply the same ideas. There are really just a few tricks that most musicians use.

I gave it kind of a low score but I don't think it's particularly bad, so don't let it get you down. The song definitely shows promise. Try to keep that stuff about moving the song along in mind and I would be interested to hear what you could come up with it.

TaintedLogic responds:

Yay! :D Thank you, Johnfn! I agree with the repetition issues, and I'm glad you noticed the rolls with the conga! ^^ I really appreciate the advice about progression - I need to work on that, I concur. I really don't care at all about the low rating. You've been overwhelmingly kind to take time out of your busy schedule to give me all this feedback, Johnfn. I'm honored that I'm being advised by one of the top 8 musicians on NG. Thank you so much for your continued support! :D

It's too bad you ran out of time :( You were really becoming one of my favorite musicians with your last few NGADM pieces - you can just write a really fantastic melody - and I'm sure that with more time you could have really developed this one too. Even still I enjoy the synth/organ and guitar combination. Along with the strings it gives a really creepy/eery feel.

NGADM or not I'll be keeping an eye out for you :-)

P.S. What does GM mean?

InYourDreams responds:

Hey johnfn! thanks man! ^_^... I'm happy to hear you liked my songs for the NGADM. Coming from you it sure means a lot. I'm definitely gonna work on this one when I get the time. Probably in 2 weeks :D... I have some cool ideas I wanna develop and finish, so there's gonna be more from me. don't worry ;)

P.S. GM means "Gabriel's Mask", which is the name of my solo project (cause InYourDreams doesn't sound really metal xD...). Check out my facebook page if you like ^_^. I'm making an EP and am gonna publish it with that name this year (or at least try to finish this year). It's gonna be probably for free :D

Taking that Kor-Rune sound and pushing it in new directions!

Loving the guitar as ever. Vocals are great too.

That main riff (:26) sounds really familiar though, particularly the riff and the first chord change.

I really like the minor chords on "brand new vibe" and "jolt your brain" (along with all through the rest of the song).

I dunno about the chip sound. I felt like it filled out the song too much, made the mix feel too dense. So many high frequencies. It's a fun idea though. Must be the first ever instance of chip in a metal/jazz song.

And while I'm complaining, I did feel like the mix was a little loud. This is actually a problem I have with a lot of heavy metal though, so it could be a personal taste thing. Aside from the chipnoise though I thought like it was well mixed.

I really did enjoy it though. It's high octane! And you are the master of unexpected chord changes.

The only reason I'm giving this a 9 is because I felt like your last piece was on another plane. Like, if I hadn't heard that one I would probably give this a 10. It's still an awesome piece though.

Kor-Rune responds:

Thank you for the response! Yeah it was a cop out blues 1 4 5 progression ;) As I listen I think the kick needs more presence and yeah, high gain distortion guitars plus chip synth is a little much. Thanks again for the feedback, gonna work on mixing!

I'm with Kor-Rune. This song has all of the best chords.

This is really really great work. Even better than your last submission.

I'm actually kinda speechless.

headphoamz responds:

Wow, johnfn speechless?! Too cool, man. Thank you so much! Glad you like the chords, I really had a lot of fun writing those. :B

i always forget to respond to PMs. its not because i hate you, just because i forgot!!!

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