johnfn's audio Reviews on Newgrounds

[Writer's Block Anthem]

== This is an official NGUAC Review ==

Oh geeze, if any song was the emblematic song for "awesome composition, lacking production", this would be it.

BUT like, the composition man. First of all that chord progression is so weird that I almost feel like you're being weird for the sake of being weird, BUT it works so I guess not?? But really, let me just heap praise onto your main vocal line. It's AMAZINGLY catchy. It seriously cracks me up that the topic of your lyrics is writers block, and yet the melody line is so great. I already praised that section of Endowment to the heavens and back for being so amazingly hooky, and this just shows that you're no one trick pony, because you've somehow done it again.

Not only is that hook itself catchy, but you somehow make that bizarre chord progression work so well, even by itself - it's got such a groove to it when you just let it play, like 1:00! I think this is probably my favorite non-lyrical section of the song, it's just so groovy and cool.

Okay, now time for the critical part of the review, and I hate to say it, but this song is just filled with minor mistakes and errors. The way I see this track is that you turned in a Shakespearian sonnet, but literally every word is spelled wrong. The core idea is freaking amazing, but the details really really need work. I would really encourage you to seek out a mentor or teacher that can guide you, but I can list off some of the more obvious problems:

- The stacked vocals at 0:22 just makes me mad because both vocal lines are exceptionally well written, but stacking them on top of each other makes them both worse because they both distract from the other one. One needs to be central, and one needs to be backing.
- The drum kit at 1:05 just clashes so hard with the sound design
- The sax at 1:05 is a great idea but obviously sounds fake and dry. Honestly you may just have to get a sax player to play your sax bits lol, sax VSTs almost always sound lacking.
- The 'piano' rhythm at 2:08 is all quarter notes essentially, it sounds so mechanical
- The mix at 2:25 is really messed up, I didn't even notice there were vocals there until like the third listen
- The trap hats at 1:30 are too dry and stick out
- The glitches are a good idea but they currently don't do all too much to enhance the sound - try making them more complex.

You're rapidly becoming one of my favorite composers to watch out for. Everything you compose is so fascinating and interesting. Lots and lots and lots of details that need work, but the core idea is so compelling that I still ended up giving you a really high score.

(And seriously, how ironic is it that a song about writer's block is one of the most inspired tracks in the compo???)

Mini-scores (not used to calculate final score in any way - just so you know what needs improvement):

Arrangement: 3/4
Composition: 4+/4
Sound Design: 2+/4
Production: 2+/4

Overall: 9.2

[Zyzyx - Screw Physics]

== This is an official NGUAC Review ==

Ohhhh yaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

So yeah let's get it out of the way, the production quality on this one is just absolutely A++++ stellar. Honestly I was pretty sure that the production was going to be amazing as soon as I heard that chip lead in the beginning that was so tasty, with all the right amounts of vibrato and modulation. The bass is huge, but not offensively so. The chords are awesome, and you use a lot of white noise tastefully (particularly in the drops) to really give the song an airy and huge feel to it.

Once the song dropped, I was *really* impressed. All the crazy cool bass instruments going all over the place, along with a lead soloing which you somehow crammed into the mix... It's very cool stuff.

The chord progression that you laid down on the piano at 2:40 was really cool. At first I was just like, yawn, this is just IV-V-vi-I, heard it before, but then on the second loop you turned the vi into a VI and I was like whoa. THEN, you went to a I with an add 9, wtf, that's awesome, it has such a great feel to it! You could build another song just out of that cool progression.

Now if I were to complain about this song, and I will, because it's my job, then I'd say that the melodic aspect of the composition is lacking a bit. Like, the chip synth intro, or the cool synth instrument that plays over the drop - they all *sound* cool, they have great sound design, but they don't really do any interesting melodic stuff, it kinda just sounds aimless. Maybe try varying up their rhythms more? I dunno, melody is hard.

I notice a lot of people griping because it sounds like Virtual Riot. I'll be honest, I've never listened to them, so I wouldn't know if it does or not, BUT the fact that you produced and mixed this so well, as well as the fact that you modulated and arranged everything so well, takes this music well beyond the realm of copycat. In time you will develop your own style (and then those guys will find something else to complain about...)

So, yeah. Overall impression is that in production you knocked it out of the park, but the compositional aspects definitely need a bit of work.

Also dude, rhodes outro oooo yeaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh haha you could make yet another song out of this... bringing the total number of songs in this song to... 3... ???

Mini-scores (not used to calculate final score in any way - just so you know what needs improvement):

Arrangement: 4/4
Composition: 3/4
Sound Design: 4+/4
Production: 4+/4

Overall: 8.9

DJ-Zyzyx responds:

Thank you so much john :D I appreciate the kind words, really makes me want to make more stuff. I definitely agree, the chords don't really vary that much at all throughout the drops lol

[Jacques Melissa - Screw everything]

== This is an official NGUAC Review ==

rofl

Okay so I have to say, I don't think I've ever heard a song that is so all over the place. Some parts make me kind of sad, like the really bare and hard velocity piano that plays by itself at points. On the other hands, some parts of this song are just freaking amazing, like the builds to the drop and the drops themselves. Let me just talk about how cool the drops are for a bit. They are just so interesting - they have so many elements working on harmony. I think that's a particularly difficult thing to get down, it already sounds in your track awesome, and I can't wait to hear what your stuff sounds like as you continue to refine your skills!

Not only that, but I really have difficulty categorizing this track, it's so unique. It's not trap, not dance, not dubstep, not glitch... It's so weird and unique, but so enjoyable to listen to! I don't really give bonus points for stuff I've never heard before, but this track probably got a higher score unconsciously since the uniqueness makes it a more enjoyable listen.

I feel like the vocals are pretty good, but are also a bit of a missed opportunity. Like the education/civilization rhyme line has a really great rhythm to it, and I wish you carried it on further - but then the next few lines are so rhythmically flat that I wonder if it was just a mistake or something. A lot of the words sound weirdly cut off, which definitely doesn't help the rhythm either.

While I'm complaining, there are a few other things that really bug me. Like I mentioned before, the piano is a giant freaking sore thumb, mainly because of the tone, but also because it sounds like it's being played by a robot. You could just remove it entirely from this song and improve it, but I'd recommend varying the loudness of the piano and varying up the tone a little better to get a tone that fits better in the song. The crash cymbal, also, is a bit of a problem - it's far too dry. Perhaps more reverb could help here.

But in summary? The best part of this track is that it's just enjoyable to listen to. The mix is exactly in the right spot, the rhythms are funky and fresh, it's got a groove, the vocal chops are just going bonkers, it's just FUN.

Mini-scores (not used to calculate final score in any way - just so you know what needs improvement):

Arrangement: 4/4
Composition: 3+/4
Sound Design: 3+/4
Production: 4/4

Overall: 8.9

Jakki responds:

yeah the vocals were like "let's make something bizarre and offending, this is seriously a good idea lol" and the next day I released it I was like "lol it totally wasn't a good idea"

Cheers for the positive feedback, I will definitely consider these next time I do stuff. Thaaanks

[Courage]

== This is an official NGUAC Review ==

HOLY-

I remember you from tryouts (who doesn't?) for submitting an absurdly long 15 minute varied piece. I thought that the track was good, but it was stretched far too thin and lacked any true standout ideas. Well, congrats my friend for fixing all problems with that track and freaking knocking my socks off in the process.

Let's just get right into why I like this song so much: the drops are so deceptively simple, and yet so freaking fascinating. I mean, it's just a rhythmic thing with chords, and the rhythms aren't even that fascinating, so it's kind of a mystery to me why it even works. Part of it is the harmonic choices you've made. With a lot of songs in the NGUAC I can be like "oh it's this progression", and with a few more rare songs I can be like "oh neat, he used a III" (or some other interesting idea). In this song I have NO IDEA WTF IS GOING ON other than to know that IT IS AWESOME. There are all sorts of out-of-scale chords and cool extensions that I've basically never heard before, but they all work perfectly. Like seriously, 2:33, is that chord even legal? I'm pretty sure that chord is banned in a few different states.

But yeah, so the composition here is really fascinating and off the chain. Let's get to where you could improve. First of all, the mix is a really obvious problem. The transitional sections between 'drops' are okay, but the drops themselves could really use a deeper bass presence. I would strongly encourage you to research sub bass and how to use it to flesh out your mixes that need bass. Furthermore, the kick and snare are way too quiet in each of the drops, and could really stand to be louder.

My other big problem is the arrangement. I seem to recall you as the guy who submitted a 15 minute long piece to the tryouts phase, so I commend you for submitting "a much more trimmed down piece" (that was a joke). However, this piece is still too long for the amount of detail that it has. For the record, I have nothing wrong with long pieces. One of my favorite pieces is like 36 minutes long (thanks, kashiwa daisuke). But a six minute track has to have enough detail to keep all six minutes interesting. Right now, it has enough detail to keep about 4 minutes interesting, and the atmospheric breakdown sections are the obvious problem. This is as "easy" as either trimming them down OR introducing additional rhythmic/melodic/atmospheric components. Your sound design in these breakdown sections is really intriguing (if a bit reverb-heavy), so just tighten it up a bit!

Minor complaint: I don't like how the second drop kind of just fades out. I know it seems like a reasonable thing to do, but just trust me, for some odd reason it's never effective to fade out a really energetic section. It's almost always a better choice to actually ramp the energy UP and then when you hit the next bar cut out everything completely. That's why stuff like drum fills are really effective, but you can get a similar effect with risers, or opening filters, or blah blah blah.

Overall, this song is boss.

Mini-scores (not used to calculate final score in any way - just so you know what needs improvement):

Arrangement: 3/4
Composition: 4/4
Sound Design: 3+/4
Production: 3/4

Overall: 9.6

[Shades]

== This is an official NGUAC Review ==

Oooooooooooohhh what a cool track!

I was loving your composition practically from the first chord change. I love so much the subtle dissonance and eeriness that it suggests. To be honest, I'm a big fan of your entire intro (which I'd say is the first 2 minutes). It's really a treat for geeks like me that love intriguing chord progressions and harmonic choices. =D The subtle rubato, the funky instrument choices (love the marimba and subtle backbeat, though admittedly not a fan of the organ tone).

Right at 2:00 the song kind of implodes on itself - unfortunately not in a really good way. The chording guitar tone is just so ugly, it doesn't mesh well with the rest of the song at all. The compositional aspects of the song continue to be good, but at this point it's hard to truly get into them when the sound design is so difficult to get over. The guitar solo is good, but I just can't understand what you're trying to do with it. It's far too quiet in the mix to really stand out, but it's too complex to serve as a backing track.

When the *real* breakbeat starts to come in at around 2:35 ish (it fades in, hard to pick an exact time), I found myself desperately wishing for a better mix so that it could shine through better. As it is, your breakbeat is a fantastic idea that falls completely flat due to the mix.

I have to admit, I don't understand what you were thinking at 3:30. That section is just crazily dissonant to me and does not really do much other than make me confused. If that's what you meant by 'lose some points'... well... okay, I admit, I just have no idea what you were thinking!

All in all, this piece is compositionally fascinating, with lots of intriguing chord choices and harmonies. I'm a huge fan of almost exactly the first two minutes, but after that the mix really starts to fall apart. It's a shame, because your ambition and ideas are really interesting, and if they were properly mixed this piece would be super duper good. As it is, it's a really really intriguing experiment, and certainly a very original and fascinating track.

Mini-scores (not used to calculate final score in any way - just so you know what needs improvement):

Arrangement: 3+/4
Composition: 3+/4
Sound Design: 2+/4 (higher in the first half)
Production: 2/4 (ditto)

Overall: 7.9

Azhthar responds:

Whoot? I thought I already responded to your review... Acutally I wrote a really long response, yesterday. Weird that it wasn´t posted. First: Thanks a lot for that awesome detailed review and a lot of constructive feedback! I´m glad you liked the track! For the organ tone and the tone of the chording guitar. I actually tweaked a lot till I got these sounds. The organ I wanted to have bit more "flutey", sounding a bit less like church (only a little bit). The guitar I wanted to have as distorted and "evil" as it could be. You are completely right about my mixing, though... I think this is always my biggest flaw. I really don´t know how to get these breakbeats a bit more out, except by making them louder or using more limiting which will just distort them. I already panned every single hit very strongly to place them around the rest of the music. I´m also always really intrigued to hear all these awesome produced tracks, which sound so bright, airy and clear. The only way I found to get the sound this bright is to use multiband compression and increasing the gain of the high frequencies. I don´t like this sound, though and it disturbs the atmosphere of music, which is intended to have a darker undertone. If you have any suggestions how to improve my production in specific, I would be really happy to hear it! I´m a bit surprised that you think the solo guitar should be louder, because I always think it´s too loud, when I listen to the track again... Yes, the section at 3:30 is a bit special. It was more about the storytelling than about the music I guess and also maybe was meant as a small joke. Maybe I shouldn´t do these things in a competition ;)
I´m really glad that you figured out all these small treats like the rubatos or the backbeat I layered behind this 6/8 meter to shift it to a 4/4 beat with strong triplets ;)
Again: Thanks a lot for your detailed contructive feedback! I hope I didn´t forget anything what I wrote yesterday...

[A City Not Forsaken]

yes yes good! i could listen to your arpeggiated soundscapes for hours

the [spoiler] was great too though i wished it had more of the progression style that your arpeggiated orchestral thing did

Phonometrologist responds:

I appreciate the brackets lol
And yes I know what you mean. I too would like to try that sometime. I prefer atmospheric songs with sparse lyrics drenched in reverb/delay just like in M83 and Radiohead. If given the chance, I would like to attempt that sometime. Thank you for taking the time to letting me know your thoughts.

[Aspen]

this one has such a nice wistful vibe to it, accentuated a lot by the sighing synths at 0:18 and the beautiful solo starting at 0:48.

i can see why you chose it as your first upload now... but i still think you should upload serene too ;-)