johnfn's audio Reviews on Newgrounds

[Haywire]

You did successfully avoid the clipping, but now what I'm hearing is a bunch of extremely loud instruments pushing up against a limiter. This is making the mix really really cluttered. What I want you to do is to remove any limiters from your track, and then turn down all the volume controls on each individual track until the master channel is no longer in the red. This will clean up your mix considerably.

I can hear a good song in here wanting to get out, but the mixing is really preventing me from enjoying it.

I'd also suggest that the beats could be a bit more organic. If I'm hearing a guitar, I generally expect to hear rock drums under it, which means that the edm-esque kick/snare combo is a bit of a surprise.

I also really dislike FL's built in keys. There's a VST called Piano One which is free and sounds much better, so go check that out.

Sorry for being so negative, but once you fix up these issues (mainly the mixing - please please do that!) the song will be much better!

Smitsy responds:

Thanks for bieng honest! To be honest, I just had to look up what a limiter was because I didnt recall using any. Turns out theres one on the master. Ill go through it and maybe reupload it.

[Expression of Freedom]

Oh my god... those melodies... so good... they sound like they're straight out of some SNES game or something. You know what they really remind me of? Stickerbrush Symphony. They've got that really longing melancholic feel to them. And Stickerbrush is like the best vg song ever, so well done.

My only suggestion is that some are a lot better than others. If you clean up the issues I'm about to mention down below it'd be a 9, but if you arranged this properly and cut out the less good melodies it could be a 10.

My favorite melodic points are :35, 2:02, 3:15. This is not an exhaustive list though.

The big problem that I see with this piece is the clash of the melodies and dnb. Like, the melodies are too beautiful and placid to have crazy beats going on under them, and so the two just don't go together well. Normally when I hear dnb songs they either have repetitive energetic melodies or more sinister dark bassy stuff. The melodies in this song are straight out of some happy RPG or something, so I feel like it's not working. The other possible cause of this problem is the actual samples you're using - I feel like they're too meaty and would typically make up a 4 on the floor beat. If you want an example of beats that might work better, listen to this song: http://compo.thasauce.net/files/A_zu_ra_-_Ticking_Time_Bomb(OHC259).mp3 Something like that might have a better shot of fitting into this song (though it'd still have to be slowed down).

The other problem with it, and while it's not as big it's still pretty big, is those panning notes that go through the whole song. I like them initially, but they eventually feel very repetitive. This can *sometimes* work, but I think it's not working here. It may just be a problem of instrumentation - if the instrument was more bassy, it might work better. Also maybe if it was quieter? But I can't really say.

Minor: baseline is too busy at 1:47, kinda clashes with the melody.

Anyway you already know how obsessive I am about melodies so the good news is the hard work is already done! The melodies are great and that makes the song great by default. You just have to put the rest of the song into place.

ChronoNomad responds:

Thanks a lot for the review, John! I'm glad to hear that you like the melodies so much, and that's an incredibly gracious comparison. I definitely get what you're saying about the DnB beats not really fitting the music, and while I'd love to be done with this piece at this point, you've got me seriously considering revising the beat and a few other nuances.

Can you even change the genre once it's set? Hmmm... I'll have to make sure that it's even possible before I delve into this one again, that's for sure. I suppose there's no reason why not, but goodness knows the Newgrounds submission system can be more than a little willful at times. Thanks a lot for your input, and I'll probably come back to this one at some point and see about improving it and giving it a more appropriate set of beat riffs. I've got a couple other things in the works right now, so it may be a while. So much for my first foray into DnB. Heh.

Thanks again! Your input is very much appreciated, and I really respect your musical acumen. Good luck in the NGADM 2013 finals, by the way! Can't wait to see (hear?) the epic battle between you and SteamPianist! :D

[Busy Feet]

dfgsdfg. That is all I have to say.

...

No it's not. I just can't keep my mouth shut huh? This is great. Your vocal control is ridiculous. The atmosphere is so strong I could eat it. But what is most commendable about this track is how reserved it is. I've been feeling pressure to write more and more epic songs to appeal to the judges (and judging by steampianists' track it's possible he feels the same way). But you took that in the complete opposite direction and wrote something much more introspective. That was quite a risk and I think it paid off in spades.

The one thought I had is that your voice is almost too defined when you put it on top of all those slow moving pad like sounds. I was thinking it would be really interesting to apply some sort of filter on top of the vocal to make it blend in a little more with the rest of the song. But eh, that's just an experimental idea, not a problem with the track.

P.S. The concept of this track reminds me of a few Radiohead songs - if you haven't heard of them, definitely check them out, they're amazing. The one I'm thinking of in particular is "The Tourist" but if you haven't listened to the album "OK Computer" you should just listen to the whole thing. :)

etherealwinds responds:

Thank you so much for your review!! I try to take the feedback and learn as much as I can from it. Throughout the competition, I've tried to focus on improving the mixing quality, especially leveling. I've gotten positive reviews from the general themes, moods and atmospheres, but I wanted to create something a lot more exposed this round. It's easier to hide behind compositions that are epic with a lot going on, but I thought I'd bear my soul a little more in this track!

I never considered putting any sort of filter on the vocals in this track. The only Radiohead I was familiar with beforehand was 'Creep' but I'm listening to 'The Tourist' now. It reminds me of Kor-Rune if I'm honest. Gorgeous! Thank you once again and good luck!

[Graveyard Shenanigans]

There is no freaking way I can compete with stuff like this. It's so awesome. It's like you took Real Life Absurdities and made it better (mainly by adding a longer break, I guess). Plus you hit the halloween nail on the head. The instrumentation really works to hit the theme - like that vibrato whistle at :35, but the chord progressions also do a really nice job hitting it too.

One of the things that I really enjoy about your pieces is your use of melody and counter melody. There is almost never just a single melody going at once - you always pair them up with a loud one doing one thing and then a quieter one doing something else.

The only reason I'm holding back from 10/10 is that I feel like it's a little too close to Real Life Absurdities, which was itself fairly close to Steam's Wonderful Contraptions. (And see, I'm a total hypocrite, because I didn't laud you or anything when you did She Was Picking Flowers...) I feel like the primary strength of those 3 songs is in the crazy and unique instrumentation choices rather than in the melody, which means that the novelty wears off once you hear it a lot (not that I've been putting your songs on repeat for hours... ok, perhaps I have been...) but, and this is just my opinion, the novelty of a good melody will never wear off.

So what I'm trying to say is I would really like to hear another Mechanical Anima out of you, because that's my favorite of your styles. But, like, despite all my soliloquizing about melody, I still think that this song is really freaking great. In fact I feel almost criminal docking that half star because the song is that good.

steampianist responds:

Hey man thanks for the review. Yeah it does sound a bit like RLA but note i was up against kor rune while composing this thats why i decided i had to do what i do best :)

and congrats for making it through round 5

[73 Idea Mashup]

One reason you can't finish these is because they are all basically the same idea. I wasn't counting and I didn't listen to the whole thing but a large number are the same exact vi-IV-V progression, and more are some variant of I-IV-V-vi. Come on bro, you're a great musician but you need to push your chord progressions in more interesting ways or you'll just end up stagnating on all your ideas like you are here. (The same thing has happened to me.)

Why not start with some nice jazz chords? Here's a fun progression: Fmaj7-emm7-dmaj7-cmaj7 (mm7 = minor major 7, maj7= major seventh chord).

Other suggestion is you have way too much reverb on your stuff.

It doesn't make a lot of sense for me to qualitatively assess a bunch of tiny ideas, but any of them sound interesting enough to expand into a whole song.

ErikMcClure responds:

You really shouldn't ever do technical critique on an idea. A lot of them are clipping horribly or have other serious production errors. They're just ideas. I use excessive reverb in my ideas because it substitutes atmosphere and helps me imagine what they should sound like. The reverb is dropped later.

The thing with the chord progression has been a constant thorn in my side, because I often try to come up with different chord progressions, but then can't figure out how to make them into songs. The problem is usually the opposite - I don't know how to make a song with wildly different chord progressions. The songs I usually do end up making very, very often end up being variations on the same chord progression.

The problem I almost always run into is that I have difficulty coming up with melodies for unusual chord progressions. I'm sure the answer to this is "well then get better". Oh sure, I'd love to, if I had all the time in the world. Naturally, I don't. It's hard to motivate myself to work on music when I know I can't make a living off of it and i'm pretty much only doing it for my own amusement.

[Under The Sun 2]

The mixing is well done! Nice work. A mixing protip that someone once gave me that helped me more than anything else is that when you have a bad mix, turn down all your levels and remove your limiter. This will magically turn it into a good mix. You might think I'm joking, but it works EVERY TIME.

If you want to improve your mix a little more, maybe bring out dat bass a little more. Other than that, it's fine.

I enjoy the subtle filter in at :28.

Sound design is good.

The melody comes in at 1:00 but honestly it's not really doing it for me. Like, it feels almost random, it isn't really trying to express anything. I can't really give you any help for this, because writing better melodies is generally something you have to learn on your own. In my opinion this is the biggest flaw of the track - with a better melody it would be much better.

It was pretty smart to switch out instruments at 1:50. It adds some vibrancy to the track. Though again the melody isn't doing a lot for me.

This song is definitely really happy. So many major chords. :D:D

Good job doing the buildups and hits for the transitions. Makes the song move along pleasantly.

Anyway yeah I think that's more or less it. I gave you a low score, but I hope you're not discouraged because the song is pretty good all around. You just have to work on writing better melodies. There's no short cut to a good melody unfortunately. You just have to keep practicing. Good luck!

P.S. And yeah learn to play piano ;-)

Everratic responds:

Thankyou for the great and detailed review!
I completely understand why you don't like the melody, and you are not the first person to tell me. My melodies rarely have any emotion to it. You might be surprised by this, but I spend a lot of time on all my melodies. I focus on making my melodies catchy and pleasurable to my ears rather than making them fit into the song. I think this is a taste thing. The main melody in this song is actually my favorite melody I ever created. I'm not sure If I will change the way I create melodies, but I will definitely consider it.

I never use limiters in my songs. I always turn down my volume levels to the point where a limiter is unnecessary.
I got 3 reviews in one day all telling me to raise the bass. I will do that soon and update the song :D

[Submerged]

Wow, I liked this a lot. The main motif is really good. I was pretty impressed that even though it's only really 3 (or 6, depending on how you count) notes long, it carries a lot of emotive weight. The only thing I really wanted was a little more bass power under that motif.

I also feel like the song doesn't do all that much until the main motif is first hinted at around 1:30. I guess this is kind of up to you. I don't have much of a problem with long intros, but you should be aware that the intro is definitely not as good as the rest of the song.

This is somewhere between 8 and 9 for me. I feel like it hits the idea of underwater exploration very nicely. It feels very melancholy and almost resigned. Great work!

stunkel responds:

Oh wow! I didn't expect a review from you! I've seen you give some great feedback on many different songs and by skimming over this it is no exception! Very detailed and lengthy.

Anyways, I'm glad you thought the main motif was nice, I think I know what you are talking about if it's just the descending notes. I use it a lot in my songs, and I was worried people would notice it more often x_x But you saying that makes me feel better about myself!

The intros can be interesting and tricky to me sometimes... Because I do agree the intro is absolutely not the highlight of the song by any means. But at the same time, the song would not be the same without it's intro. But perhaps your suggestion of making it shorter isn't a bad idea! I'll keep that in mind for my next song.

Hey man, thanks for the awesome review, glad that the underwater exploration feeling hit you :p. OH and congrats on making it to the semi finals in NGADM! Sound Chris was a tough opponent.

Thanks again for the review

-Ryan

[Chemicals [NGADM]]

The first time I listened to this song (last year) I didn't really get it. I listened to it off and on every few months, but it still didn't really click. I think something about the use of chords makes it hard to grasp onto for a dude like me who doesn't listen to much jazz.

Anyway, I just want to check in to say that I listened to it today and my mind was blown.

10/10, easy.

Kor-Rune responds:

Omg thank you johnfn, I appreciate the listen and review on this oldie c: congrats on your win!

[This is Not the End]

What was I thinking not reviewing this one earlier? I absolutely love it. The melody that launches at :18 may be the best one I've heard all NGADM, so instant 9 stars already. There are three problems though-

1. The bridges between the different occurrences of the :18 melody are not very strong. I like some points, like 1:12-20, but generally they just feel like they're there to fill space. The thing is that when you have a melody as strong as :18, every other part of your song has to step it up or else it's going to be a disappointment.

2. You don't get enough mileage out of the melody. You wrote an awesome melody, you better get all you can out of it. Ideally I would like some strong bass and maybe even some big hits under it for some sort of climax, to really get the emotion out. I realize that might not fit the idea that you had for the song, but it's a melody that really seems to demand some more power under it.

3. Too much reverb. Easy fix, just turn down the release on your reverb. That will clean up your climaxes a lot, especially in the high end.

Anyway, I'm a huge melody guy, so this is already baller in my books. The whole song is great. Just wanted to make some minor suggestions to make it even better!

ChronoNomad responds:

You are seriously the best. Thank you so much for this outstanding review, John! Until now I've actually been really surprised at the lack of comments about the underlying melodies, so it's really good to know that those do not go completely unnoticed. I was starting to think that I was the only one who was really in love with them. :3

You've made some very nice suggestions in conjunction with your feedback, and I truly appreciate that. It's always nice to have some direction as opposed to the decidedly non-constructive "I don't like this" or "I don't like that" without any kind of explanation why or anything. I think I'm finally getting a hold of my love affair with reverb, but it's still a pretty delicate balance; less is definitely more in this regard.

Thank you again for leaving this very encouraging review. I'm happy to know that you enjoy this piece, and am still working on music post-NGADM, so I hope you'll drop by from time to time. Your presence is definitely welcome here!

[TheDoor - Jungle Hang-out]

Neat beats right in the beginning. Lots of high frequencies, that's fine though. Cool rolls around 1:17 Toms. I really enjoy the baseline. Chords are sounding a little dissonant though and by 1:00 I'm wondering if there's going to be a change in the song, it's starting to feel a little repetitive. By 1:20 I'm hearing some variations on the chords which is cool, but I think what this needs is more changes.

What I want you to work on is having your songs change over time - build up, break down, climax, all that good stuff. The normal way that people give songs 'motion' is by adding or removing instruments. What I really wanted to hear from this song was after, like, the 1 minute mark, a piano in the upper registers could come in and start doing some sweet solo, you know? Or something else to make it feel like the song is progressing. You might find it helpful to listen to some of your favorite songs and see how they move the song along, and then apply the same ideas. There are really just a few tricks that most musicians use.

I gave it kind of a low score but I don't think it's particularly bad, so don't let it get you down. The song definitely shows promise. Try to keep that stuff about moving the song along in mind and I would be interested to hear what you could come up with it.

TaintedLogic responds:

Yay! :D Thank you, Johnfn! I agree with the repetition issues, and I'm glad you noticed the rolls with the conga! ^^ I really appreciate the advice about progression - I need to work on that, I concur. I really don't care at all about the low rating. You've been overwhelmingly kind to take time out of your busy schedule to give me all this feedback, Johnfn. I'm honored that I'm being advised by one of the top 8 musicians on NG. Thank you so much for your continued support! :D