johnfn's audio Reviews on Newgrounds

[Unsung Hero]

=== This is an NGADM Round 2 Review ===

Alright, I just have to get this out of the way. About a year ago I wrote a song which I liked a lot, although I never made it into a full song. The reason I bring it up is that the main melody of that song has 8 notes that are, NOTE TO NOTE AND RHYTHMICALLY EXACTLY THE SAME as your main melody. It's a particularly bizarre experience to judge a track when the main theme is something that I also wrote. Do I award full points for LITERALLY BEING ME? Or 0 points for COPYING MY SUBCONSCIOUS?!?

I might actually be underrating this song because I've heard the melody already, so it doesn't have that novelty to it! Like I said... it's super weird.

Alright, let me settle down.

This is a really, really good track. The first thing that catches my attention is, obviously, the mix. It's just so darn well done. It makes me mad! Aside from some small nitpicks, which I'll get into eventually, the mix is insanely well done, and definitely the most satisfyingly full mix that I've heard this round on the NGADM. Way to go.

Not only does this song have a (generally) awesome mix, but it seems like it's just full of things for judges like me to geek out on. I'll just have a quick go at them, here we go.

The main piano theme. Again, this is the exact theme that I came up with once, so it's kind of weird for me to judge it, but yeah, I'm pretty sure it's good. :P

The transition at 1:05. Actually, that transition REALLY caught me aback the first time I listened to it, and I wasn't really totally sold on it, and I'm still not sure if I am (it doesn't really raise tension as you'd expect it to so much as it makes you go "what the heck is happening" - I think it would have been better if the guitar had a more clear ascent to the final note rather than going around in circles and then finally hitting it). I have to say though, I haven't heard anything quite so insane in a while, so that's something.

The 5/4 section. Every judge likes prime number time sigs over 4 that are greater than 3, and you musicians have apparently caught onto this secret in the second round of NGADM. Your 5/4 riffing is effortless.

The peak of the guitar solo at 3:08 (I actually wanted to hear it go up higher more, but this is still an awesome moment).

Anyways, so I clearly think that this song is awesome. So why the low score? Actually, 8.5 isn't a low score at all. It's the second highest score I gave! Why did you think it was a low score, anyways? Well, I should probably complain about some stuff, to give you a direction to improve. So here we go.

I do think that the mixing is off at points. Again, the mix is awesomely full, so that's definitely not where the problem - it's I think that the drums are too quiet. If you compare with professional tracks done in the same vein, I think you'll find that drums in this sort of driving orchestral rock hybrid track are much louder, to really give energy to the track. I would also expect the drums to be slightly bassier.

The mix does become a little cluttered at points, as well, just because there's so darn much stuff in it. Consider 2:00, where the guitar is kinda competing with the pad, and the midbass guitar seems to just be completely drowned out. Or at 2:32, where the first few notes of the piano are almost completely impossible to hear (this is minor, since we all know what those notes are by now, but still).

I also want to talk a little about transitions. I already kinda expressed my confusion over the transition at 1:05, which I think is kinda emblematic of my problems with transitions generally in this piece. A really good transition into an energetic part should be gearing you up to go HECK YEAH by the time that the next section kicks in. One of my favorite transitions is the one that starts at 3:02 in the song "The Good Life" by Weezer (listen to the whole song to get the full impact). It certainly doesn't hurt that the song is just generally amazing, but that transition back into the chorus is *so* good that even if Weezer had decided to make the final chorus a reprise of Humpty Dumpty it STILL would have been awesome, just by virtue of the incredible transition.

Link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gkroIXktjgE

This is the kind of thing that I wanted from your track, especially the transition into the final chorus (which should always be the biggest hitting moment, since it's at the end of the song anyways!). I mean, just think of how awesome 2:53 in your track could have been with the right sort of transition.

Aside from the buildup transitions, I felt like some of the other transitions were a little weird as well, in a more minor way. For example, the transition at 1:31 (No, Microsoft Word, I did not misspell "1:31". That doesn't even make sense.) - that awesome midbass riffing just sorta... fades out? That's kind of disappointing. Similarly with 2:09, I felt like it was kind of a let down, since a modulation should usually be a BIG DEAL, but instead you just hit a couple of very quiet brass notes and then BOOM.

Anyways, I know I complained a lot here but, all in all, this was an awesome track. Well done, you guys. It was one of my favorites from the round.

Score: 8.5

bassfiddlejones responds:

Or maybe... YOU ARE A TIME TRAVELER AND STOLE THE MELODY FROM ME IN THE FUTURE! :O
It's a tad odd that we've written the same thing, haha.

I agree with you entirely on transitions, they weren't as good as they could have been for sure (we have a long list of excuses, time blah blah, also we are dads). I'm not certain I agree with the mix being cluttered, as it was mixed from a guitar driven point of view, but knowing something could be off is worth checking into, and we'll definitely pay close attention in the next track (YOU WILL ONLY HEAR DRUMS)

Also modulating is weird and hard sometimes, so it's easy to spend a lot of time on those tiny (but important) passages, which we didn't seem to have enough of this round. Admittedly, we skimped a bit on composing for the modulation, so your critique is well noted. Already I think we're off to a more sound theoretical start for the next track, and I'm hoping you'll be impressed. Thank you for the epic review!

[Son of Beach (NGADM '15)]

=== This is an NGADM Round 2 Review ===

Somewhat appropriately, the 2 biggest metal guys got paired off immediately. The judges must really hate metal or something. :) (I was not involved in the pairing process in any way. Don't judge me.)

Both you and your competitor pulled out pretty awesome tracks. This is a really solid track, and you should definitely be satisfied with the work that you did. You went in with the attitude that you were gonna get wrecked, but I think you did good. The main riffs are all very solid. It has many different sections and the changeups are generally delightful.

I want to draw your attention to the mix, however. Consider the section around 1:10, particularly the lead guitar. It's too quiet! I actually have to listen very closely in order to hear all the notes, which is definitely no good. (The lower notes are particularly bad.) It's the *lead*, it should be very prominent in the mix (behind only the drums, really). This happens quite often in the song - the lead is buried. Listen to 3:10 - you can barely even hear the lower 2-3 notes on the guitar line.

I also want to talk about the arrangement for a little bit. Except for a single very quick section around 2:50, this song is hardcore heavy metal without any breaks at all. This will fatigue any listener (particularly people who don't listen to all too much heavy metal). Breaks are absolutely necessary to ameliorate this fatigue. This kinda gets into what I wanted to say next, which is that I think that this song could use more variation of instrumentation. Commercial heavy metal tracks almost always feature singing, so that the focus can move from guitar to vocals (which keeps the listener invested), but they'll also try playing the guitar with different soloing styles, add acoustic guitar into the mix, etc, etc.

I don't mean to bash on the song too much, of course, because I liked it! I thought it had a bunch of interesting ideas both melodically and with respect to the arrangement. The ascending riffs around 1:10 are pretty cool, for instance, and were a pretty good selection for the main theme. My favorite part, though, is (and this should come as no surprise given what I said about the importance of breaks) the breakdown at 2:50 which introduces a sort of 5 + 5 + 5 + 1/4 meter which is played on top of the 4/4 meter. This is super cool. I just gotta love this sort of polyrhythmic stuff. I particularly like how the 2nd 5 starts on the off-beat, which gives it a different feeling from the previous 5 (even though it's the same notes!).

The transition back into heavy metal with the same polyrhythm idea is especially satisfying (this is why breaks are so great!) and the further transition back into the main theme is great too. Great way to end a great track.

Score: 7.5

JDawg00100 responds:

Thank you for the detailed review, I really liked the breakdown around 2:50 too, it was really fun writing this song

[Uplift]

Great piece. I always like your composition. :>

Troisnyx responds:

Thank you, meep! ~

[noodles]

You are definitely one of the more innovative and unique electronic guys out there. I always like the stuff you do. I'm sad that you wont be going on in the NGADM. :<

Sequenced responds:

its cause im not generic enough

[Velcro]

This is really fun. :>

> You're a lot kinder than johnfn when it comes to judging sound design, it seems. :P

YEP. I still don't like the sound design at all. That's my biggest complaint. Seriously, just write a chiptune song. I would be soo happy :>

Also, I want to take a comb to some of your melodies and tighten them up a little. Sometimes, particularly at the ends of little melodies, you use a few too many notes. It seems redundant, like you're over-explaining the melody. It might be a fun exercise for you to try to take off a couple of notes on the end of random melodies, to see if the point still gets across (or is improved).

This is one heck of a step up, though. The 1:30 transition and then the triplet section is so good :3 Kind of reminds me of Waterflame actually, he used triplets all over the place lolz.

LunacyEcho responds:

=> sound design =>

Well... (tbh though there are lots of sounds here that i don't particularly like, either, especially that chordy synth at 1:51 :P)

=> chiptune =>

Okay, okay! Ironically, sound design is one of the things that scares me the most about chiptune though, since I can never get any of the tracks to sound chippy enough. :D

=> ends of melodies =>

Y'know, I've actually never thought of doing that before. :P Now that you mention it, it sounds like such a natural thing to do! I guess I really like sixteenth notes or something :D I am DEFINITELY doing this for my next few tracks.

=> Waterflame =>

Hoo man, that guy is one of my biggest inspirations (at the top of a long list including you, ofc). I'm honored to hear you say that! :D

Thanks for the review! And I hope you get your musical mojo back soon so you can go back to uploading ear candy into the Internet! :D

:>

[Running Free]

The only thing that nags at me about this piece is that it doesn't have much melodic development past that one melody. But it's such a good melody! It's got all the right kinds of feels and deep meaningfulness to it, it really sounds like something right out of a film score. It kind of reminds me of some of PeterSatera's stuff, where he'd kinda just play the same thing on loop, gradually making it more and more epic, AND IT WOULD BE REALLY EPIC. But there's still that nagging voice in the back of my mind saying if only there was another section!

Like, that one section at 2:19 seems like a lost opportunity to me. It could be a modulation or something! Or introduce a new theme, or both!

I know, I know, you used to get nagged by people who said "there's no clear motif" and now you're getting nagged by me saying "there's *too much* motif!" Well, I'd just like to remind you that I was not one of those people who ever complained about the first thing. :>

Still, it's a great piece. One of your best, I think.

[Escape]

Fake gchat noise at 2:40. Got me checking my tabs.

I really like these chords. I used to use them all the time. :> Also I think this song has more bass now. At least in the "chorus" sections, so good job.

[~SW~ Data Transfer]

This is really good and all, but I can't actually hear any bass. Did you forget to add any?

SkyeWint responds:

I swear I'm gonna slap you one of these days

[Majestic They Are]

Bro.

BRO.

You have gotten a LOT better over the years. GREAT PIECE. :D

papkee responds:

THENKS MANG

U da best

[Wings]

WOW. I am really impressed by this you guys. You did so good! It needs a lot of detail work, I think, and the mixing is not so great (I can just imagine how amazing this track would be if the ending of this song was properly mixed. My jaw would be further down on the floor than it already is.) But man. This song is atmospheric, moody, varied as heck, and catchy! :D

MAJOR props on the switchup in the latter half of this song. That was one of the most satisfying things I've heard in a long time. Kinda reminds me how Arcade Fire's "Wake Up" suddenly bursts into this crazy energetic section with a minute to go.

One of those songs that I just have to give 5 stars, even though it is very flawed, because the core is so good.

TheMoebiusProject responds:

Hey! Thanks a lot! Yeah it needs lots of work on the mixing, but i spent all day recording those guitars and vocals that I just wanted to share it already hahaha. I see you are an awesome musician so it means a lot that you wrote that review. I'm always learning so all those pointers are reaaaally helpful! Good luck on the Deathmatch and now...to the mixing!!! (or maybe tomorrow, I'm tired hahaha)